Happy birthday to me, I guess

Confessions of a 25-year-old.

Credits: Pascal Campion / Twitter

Content Warning: This post contains implied references to mental illnesses and a (an ongoing?) quarter-life crisis. Reader discretion is advised.

I’ve always found birthdays to be a strange time of the year. It’s an annual reminder that you’re growing old, losing your youth ever-so-slightly, and the “roaring 20s” are passing by. This year, I turn 25, and that’s a scary number.

Statistically speaking, I’ve already lived 35% of my life, assuming an average life expectancy of 70 years. Touching upon the reality, though, I’d bet somewhere around 50 to 60 to be a realistic figure. For the sake of simplicity, let’s assume 50 as the life expectancy. That means I’ve already lived half my life. And we’re talking about the best-ish case here.

That realization is liberating, in a way. It leaves with me a desire to do something worthwhile. Explore the world, make memories, learn new things, travel around, and the like.

“I’ve (probably) lived half my life and I should (try to) make the second half count.”

Having said that, here are a few things I learned the hard way over the past year:

Nothing lasts forever

Yes, and that includes both good and bad times. The highs don’t stay high for long and the lows don’t always remain low. Realizing this is comforting and makes it easier to adapt to the ebbs and flows of life.

To quote the legend Avicii:

“One day, you’ll leave this world behind, so live a life you’ll remember.” - Tim Bergling

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not urging you to act irrationally and live like there’s no tomorrow. On the contrary, what I’m proposing is to make peace with the instabilities of life alongside a pinch of optimistic nihilism. Or as my mom always says, “Expect the unexpected”.

Never delegate critical decision-making

From the moment of waking up to getting back to bed, everyone makes multiple micro decisions in a day. However, there are times when you have to make crucial decisions that will set the stage for 1 year, 5 years, or even decades of your life.

“You’re always one decision away from a totally different life” - Someone on the internet

Whether you make a decision by using one of the decision-making razors or pick one at random, the important thing is that you should make the decision. Sure, you could rely on others for opinions to make an informed decision. But you should treat it as what it is — an opinion. Nothing more, nothing less.

Here’s the thing. Everyone is different. Opinions are highly subjective and evolve based on an individual’s worldview. Considering everyone’s opinions while taking a personal decision is inevitably going to result in cognitive overload and leave you more confused.

While it’s a luxury to have a support system you can fall back on, letting others take crucial decisions for you can lead to resentment, especially when things go wrong. Needless to say, all decisions come with consequences and you should face them. Might as well face the consequences of the decisions you made, right?

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Bucketlist for 2023

Here’s a list of things I hope to do this year in no particular order. It’d be fun to come back and visit this list next year (if I’m alive, of course). Here it goes:

• Learn car driving and get a driver’s license

• Visit at least one country outside India (Tibet? Italy? Japan? France?)

• Stay disciplined towards the goals I set (sounds a bit generic, but a general goal)

• Regain physical fitness and reach normal BMI

• Eat healthily and reduce junk food

• Learn to cook more food items (diversification, baby!)

• Invest in experiences, set long-term investing goals

• Put efforts to maintain relationships and communicate better

• Dopamine detox — Reduce screen time

• Read at least 20 minutes every day

• Maintain journal better and be careful oversharing here (hehe)

• Learn swimming

• Become a Morse code expert

• Attend John Mayer’s concert

• Attend Taylor Swift’s concert

• Attend Anuv Jain’s concert

• Attend Jacob Collier’s concert

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Appreciation 👏

Practice gratitude, amirite!

Last but not least, I wanna thank me. I wanna thank me for believing in me. I wanna thank me for being brave enough to get out of a toxic situation that was draining me. I wanna thank me for not being afraid to put myself out there back in the world.

If everything goes well, I’d be sleeping close to the mountains when this post goes live. I wanna thank me for planning the logistics of this trip on short notice (maybe I should be a product/project manager?!?). I wanna thank the antidepressants and mood stabilizers for keeping me happy even when the times are tough, essentially making it an accurate portrayal of the This is Fine meme.

Yeah, I’m starting to sound like a self-obsessed person, something I had anticipated when I went bullish on self-care on the pretense of it not being selfish. But hey, better to be self-obsessed than take a backseat to your own life and be a slave to the unpleasant consequences, right?

While we’re on the subject, I’d like to take a moment to appreciate Zippyshare for its contributions to society. For the uninitiated, Zippyshare is a free file hosting platform and it is shutting down later this month. It’s been an honor, thank you for your service! 🫡

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Treat corner 🍦

If you’re someone who’s feeling suicidal or going through a major mental illness, first, get help from a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist. Once that’s done, I’d highly recommend watching this standup comedy show called Look at You on Netflix. It’s oddly comforting to know there are other people who’ve had the misfortune to navigate this dark path.

In case you’re looking for less cynical takes on what it means to be a 25-year-old, check these out: What advice would you give your 25-year-old self? We asked, you answered (Vox) | What being 25 means today — and how to make the most of it (Vox) [FWIW, both articles are 7 years old].

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Until next time! Hearts if you liked it, subs if you loved it!

One year wiser,

Subin