Is self-care selfish?
Me before you?
“Is prioritizing oneself to avoid isolation and loneliness a gateway to becoming a narcissistic/selfish person?”
This is the question that popped up in my mind during a corporate social wellness session. After careful consideration, I decided to scratch the itch and ask the meeting host (doctor) the question.
And she said something along the lines of, “As long as you’re not hurting others, focusing on yourself is not necessarily a bad thing.”
Sounds like a reasonable answer, right? That’s what I thought at the moment. Little did I know back then that this question would lead to a million other questions, one of which is, “Am I selfish for prioritizing myself?”
Like every other millennial, I was all set at this point to go down an internet research rabbit hole to uncover the “truth” (and self-diagnose random illnesses in the process, obviously). Except, I didn’t.
This time around, I took the road less traveled. I chose to get the opinion of a mental health professional. After presenting him the question with a little context, here’s what he said: “You’re not selfish for prioritizing yourself. People who are actually selfish don’t even ask this question”. Feeling validated, I left the room.
A few days later, my mind gave me a follow-up question: “What if I’m a self-aware selfish person?”. The fact that Taylor Swift’s Anti-Hero is the top-played song of my Replay 2023 Apple Music playlist (Spotify who?) doesn’t help either. I have this question on my “list” for the next visit, let’s see what he has to say.
Meanwhile, he also suggested giving Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) a shot (Narrator voice: He didn’t give CBT a shot). It’s going to be an awkward conversation, that’s for sure. But that won’t stop me from asking questions. :3 Anything for sanity, amirite?
Coming back to the subject, I’d like to emphasize that self-care isn’t selfish. In fact, indulging in self-care is a necessity to recharge our physical and mental batteries. Still not convinced? Here are a few clichéd quotes that may do it for you:
Put your oxygen mask on before helping others.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.
Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It’s sanity (wow, I like the clarity of this one).
Self-care means giving yourself permission to pause.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Alright, that’s enough self-love for today.
Content Warning: The following paragraph contains references to body shaming. Reader discretion is advised.
Treat booth: Have you ever been body shamed by your parents, relatives, or worse, “friends”? (of course, you have been). This Vice article is a good read on the subject.
In slightly positive news, a trailer for a film covering BlackBerry’s history (remember BlackBerry?) is out now on YouTube. It’s coming to theatres on May 12 and I’m looking forward to it!
Until next time! Hearts if you liked it, subs if you loved it! (how original, I know)
Self-love regards,
Subin